I'm really really sick of being upset and sad over really small things.

It's harder to stay positive when my heart just aches all the time.

I've said it before but I just need to stop blaming other things for my own "unhappiness" I'm the only one who has control over that, and to give it up to material things was not the right way to go.

I've gotten so lazy over the past couple of months and just really dependent on other things.
Even my boyfriend. And it's just not working out well for me like that. I keep putting these really dumb expectations up and I don't even realize what I'm doing until I think about how he's his own person and how he is capable of making his own decisions and all that but when it comes down to it, he really does love me and that's all that there is to it. And me just expecting people to read my mind is only contributing to my "sadness".
I've sort of given up on giving myself a gameplan er whatever. It doesn't really work that way anymore for some reason?? Because if I don't succeed I just

get down on myself and hate myself for saying things I couldn't hold up to.

I've become very less of a person these recent times. I'm unhappy with the results of my laziness.

It's definitely brought me down to lower lows than I remembered I could acheive.

Jesus what am I talkinga bout it's 2 am I should be in bed...with bryce..happpy