EEp,

I was reading "red flags to look for in your relationship" kind of article...
I have like 3 of the things they described as a red flag in my relationship. But I still blame it mostly on the fact that I've been with so many guys throughout my whole friken life.

It's so bad, and the number of guys I've dated is so high, that there are times where I'll remember a certain guy I used to talk to, and then I can't believe that there's still more. UHJ

I don't really know if my relationship right now is going to be lifelong, because I'm beginning to realize that he is also depressed, which is something I've always dealt with in my boyfriends. I think that I have set low standards for myself and I am very done with this. At least, though, my current boyfriend isn't completely hopeless.

I woke up so warm this morning. Next to him. His legs always feel so good and when he's sleeping he gets this lazy, deep voice. It makes me wanna cuddle with him even more. I love mornings like this.

I got paid today, so it gave me something else to be excited about.

I'm still buying clothes!! I need to be saving up for our camping trip. After I buy this adorable dress today, it's going to be my last purchase.


I've been hanging out with co-workers, despite all this time not wanting to. But I figured that it can't really hurt cause my job is not super duper professional and I should be allowed to have fun. I want to loosen up on that a bit. But not lose my hard work ethic. I mean, if I keep up my good work, I can be my own store manager when the opportunity arises. At least, that's what my boss says. It just seems so easy to move up in this company. Everyone quits at a moment's notice and they usually need people like on the fly. It's happened before with the location I'm at, it could happen at another one c:

Anyway, that's pretty much it. I bailed on my volunteering opportunity. I got really nervous and doubtful. I'm still really mad at myself. But at least I'm meeting more people by just being really outgoing when I'm out of the house.

Bye! <3

I have tons and tons of clothes

I'm going to grow up later on and realize that I've wasted so oo much money lmao. Jk. Ever since I"ve worked in retail though, it's hard not to look at other girls' amazing fashion sense for visual inspiration and not be like "WOW I NEED NEW STUFF RIGHT NOW". It's really helped me though I think, with my job and all. I mean now I can dress people up no problem and anazlyze other girls' body issues and tell them what kind of clothes they should buy based on their body types. idk it's kind of cool I think. But I could be getting paid way more to give this kind of advice
So I might make it my goal to do so, we'll see. It would be nice to make 60% commision or something for being somewhat of a fashion expert.

Anyways, life has been kind of cool these past couple of days. I haven't really felt all that dull this week. Probably because Mike and I are planning a trip to go camping on the beach. This will be my first ever vacation with a guy and I'm really excited. Not just to be with a guy but with Mike I feel like we kind of have this connection to where we dont' have to talk about pointless crap all the time in order to pass the time. I feel like everytime I go on vacation with family or friends, we always end up talking through the moments. I get tired of using my voice all the time to say pointless shit. And Mike and I are really getting to know each other. Like the other day he was making dinner and there was just this great silence between us. I still don't wanna end up like one of those couples though that just don't say anything at all. There's so much that each and every one of us has to say, and sometimes it's worth it to open our mouths and sometimes it's not. How can you go living with a person though, that you absolutely never say what you would like to say? I feel as if older couples go through their relationships almost as if they are living on opposite ends of a glass wall. Never being able to express their emotions properly. It's as if they are caged in and cannot break free. That is a waste, imo. Even though silences are great, going through your entire life never saying a word to the person you care about is torture.

However...I really don't know what goes on through those people's heads, so I can't say for sure. Based on my assumptions though, they look soo boring! I guess I'll never know until I'm 50 or whatever.

Anyways,

I'm volunteering at First Friday tonight. Hopefully after this I'll have the confidence to do more volunteering opportunities. Yay!