On a more serious note..

Lately I've been going through lots of phases. By phases for me, that means I've been setting different goals for myself on a certain occasion and then upon others, I fail to act on those goals and set up new ones entirely.
I've also been trying to occupy my time a lot lately. I think this is due to the pressures of work (and soon to be school once again) making me think that I need to fit in time for leisurely activities otherwise I'll stress out. I've really been handling this worse than I should. I believe I mentioned in a previous post that I constantly stress out on what to do with my free time. This has become a big problem and burden for me because I am literally just pounding these thoughts into my head that I need to stay busy and such or that I need to stay busy being by not being busy. It sound ridiculous, but this is pretty much how it's been carrying out.
Usually when I identify a problem about myself I begin working on it immediately. However, lately I've been aware of this weird problem I have and yet I haven't really done much to stop it.
Now that I've taken the time to really contemplate this issue of mine, there's no way I'm going to let it slide this time. But still, it's just weird that I've taken my time solving this problem. I think I'm worn out, possibly. And I HATE thinking that it could even be a possibility. Worn out? From fucking what? I don't even do that much in a day. I don't know what my problem is.

I really think I've been in this funk lately that's detached me from myself. Sometimes when I try to get more in touch with myself it's just really hard to have clarity. My mind has been so clouded lately by the thought of my relationship, my job, my future. I guess one could say that those are things that can wear a person out.
BUT I'M ONLY 20. I haven't even started yet...
I'm not even CLOSE to being a millionaire :p
No but really. I need to stop being such a little bitch. I think a good solution would be to just spend a little more time outside. Usually just taking walks helps clear my mind.

The problem with that is...
I hate walking around my neighborhood...I really just
ugh these old people and these expectations I feel just walking outside my door
I feel pressure like
Oh there's the neighbor, I must wave at them in order to keep them and my mom's acquainted relationship as healthy and un-awkward as possible.
but..I don't wanna wave :[
I just wanna walk and keep my eyes on the sky and the trees...I just don't feel like seeing faces and pretending to be polite. That stuff has been unamusing lately.
But at the same time if I wish to avoid faces I have to walk around at night. And that's not the most convenient thing. 
Ew there I go sounding like a jaded 40 year old again, pretending to be annoyed with everything.

Anyway...I thought that writing about these issues I've been having lately would help me out and I already feel a bit better.
Jesus christ this blog thing was a really good idea.

I went SHOPPING

out of town and got the cutest stuff.

Uh okay so I got the green jacket (I've been looking for one for the LONGEST time) at H&M

It was like $50 but totally worth it. 

And the supercool sweater underneath was also from H&M for like $10 

The dress shirt thingy is ALSO from H&M for like $12!

and that mini sweater is from Forever c:

Kay this one's like my favorite cause the dress is something I've also been looking for..

It's from Forever as well. And this outfit just

 

ugh

 

I love it

 

Oh gosh and there's also this place called Cotton On (never heard of it before)

They had this really cute beanie and I walked around it all day like this looking 

like a dunce but that's okay

Oh yeah also this cute sweater from Forever on sale I love sales

 

Sorry for BLURRY pictures I just was so excited to show all of my neat shit

c:

Bleh!

So yesterday wasn't exactly the best day.
I've been dealing with so many personal issues

But today turned up a little bit! and I got some alone time to think about some things going on ..

ANYWAY
I got my laptop case in the other day and to say the least, it's adorable! I'm so happy with it c:

 

GEEE it's so cute!

 

And rooomy

 

I had been looking for the perfect case for my seriously perfect laptop. 

Rainebrooke was the website that actually had some pretty nice laptop cases. 

A lot of laptop cases are made for men (it seems) and they're really black and 

bulky and no.

Also,

I've been getting a few page views here and there so if you're actually reading this stuff

Then thank 

MY OUTFIT

The other night was killin'. Idk I just really liked it??

 

It's an h&m skirt with bunny silhouettes on it!

and and I paired it with this bright shirt and some leggings and boots

and viola a toilet appeared. 

I really need to get a better mirror to use other than my mother's bathroom heh

Bleurhgh

Is my current mood right now.
I had a really bad day at work yesterday but I'm trying not to let that change how I'm trying to think positively about it.

Also I hate how I over analyze things and can't relax sometimes.

Anyway, I'm trying to think of a good and positive thing to say about today...

I MADE a puppy pixel yay

It's been such a long day.
It's not even that anything is wrong or that anything in particular bothers me.

Well actually I can't say that.
There IS  something wrong.
I HATE my job. And the fact that I have a day off today only preps me for another day that I'm gonna hate. In turn I end up getting so worked up over what I'm gonna do on my day off.
I stress out because I never feel like I'm doing enough to get more out of my day.

What I despise even more is that before I even think about applying for a new job I'm filled with doubts.
Like,
-what if I can't find another job that will be as flexible with my school schedule
-what if the new job I find won't pay me as much as I receive with my new promotion

And honestly those are the only things that stop me. I'd love to have a new job with new people that don't know me as well and DON'T treat me like a piece of shit (like my boss)

But then at the same time, I'm even conflicted with that thought as well.
I don't even have it all that bad.
Some people have even worse jobs and are treated even worse. At least at my job there's a 50% chance my supervisor won't walk in and yell at me for no reason.

Ugh idk I'm really debating a lot of things. I don't know whether to just suck it up
or to confront my supervisor and tell her to stop being a bitch in the most serious way possible.

Or to just leave the place. I actually really like what I do. It's a lot of fun handling cash and doing paperwork and running around at the same time. I just really hate the way I'm treated half the time.

What I usually wear on a daily basis:

yay I finally have a blog that I can put my outfits in and get more ideas as to what to wear!

 

I'm not a very fancy person

 

I love socks a lot

 

And my winged strawberry necklace *wow*

Welcome! :3

Hello! This is my personal blog that I really want to use solely for writing about my thoughts and posting pictures that I feel like posting. If you happen to stumble on this blog, then I hope you have fun looking at my boring life :p

notes:

Please stop taking everything so personally. If you give out really good advice and that person doesn't choose to follow it, then that's on them. Not you. Stop feeling pathetic just because someone else made their own decision for themselves. Sure, you can pity them if they chose a bad route, but don't take it upon yourself to become upset. When you reach out to others you do it by your own accord. You don't do it in order to receive merit of their appreciation. Appreciation is always nice, but should never be expected.