I feel like this new routine I'm going to try out might actually work. I really need to work on myself because right now I'm just really lost. I just can't believe my shit got all over the place I really don't know how this happened. But now I can get some alone time and just finally think clearly for a moment. I hate how I feel so sad within and my smile for other people just goes away in an instant. I hate how fake it can be..I also hate the great expense it's taking to even have alone time. The effect it has on the person I really do love..I'm so sorry